STEP 8: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and made amends to them all.”
From time to time, I have heard relatively new persons in A.A. share in a meeting that a certain response from a person to whom the A.A. member was making amends was less than what was hoped for. In fact, some people, while not in the majority, are very much non-plussed by our amends.
Is this an unsuccessful 8th step amends?
On other occasions I have heard people share that whatever they said by way of amends was little more than “I’m sorry” (again). And that did little to rectify our past mistakes and “mend” the relationship.
Is this an unsuccessful 8th step amends?
While I would agree that it’s a wonderful feeling to see our actions become successful and create positive change, I have to believe that, based on my 42 years in A.A., that EVERY 8th step effort is successful because we are making our best effort at the time. I, personally, have made many follow-up amends to people because, as my mind cleared up more, I realized I needed to do a more compete job.
Being a sober, active member of A.A. is about as “right” as I can be because my honesty, openness, and willingness are constantly improving along with my faith in God and my spiritual approach to life.
My intentions were successful. My honor was successful. The results are in God’s hands. Every amend I have made over 42 years has been a bit better, a bit deeper, a bit more insightful, than all those amends that went before.
And every one of them has been successful because I did what was expected of me.
Bob O’Dowd, Executive Director, Emeritus
August, 2024
